A Broken Arm, A Helping Hand from Mom, and A New Idea for Your Post-Divorce Results.

May 9, 2017
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Over 40 years ago, my mother taught me how to tie my shoes. I assume this to be true, even though I don’t have any actual memory of it. Like so many of us, tying my shoes is just something I do when it needs to be done.

Recently, however, I broke my arm and found that there were many things that I “knew” how to do that I physically could not do as easily, or at all, for myself. Enter -> Mom.  One of the great things about being a daughter and being in a trusting relationship is you have no hesitation about asking for help.

One morning I visited my mother after the injury. Instead of struggling to tie my shoes, I simply walked up to her in my untied sneakers, put one foot up on a chair, and looked at her as expectantly any child might look at a parent. There was no need to exchange words.  Mom leaned over and tied my sneakers for me.  I was not embarrassed but I was very interested in what she was doing because she tied the knots differently from the way that I do it.  How could this be? Surely I learned how to tie my shoes years ago from her and I would have continued to do it however she taught me.

Did she change how she ties shoe laces or did I?  I have to ask her. I also have to tell Mom that the way she now ties shoe laces is better than the way that I do it.  (If you care, she makes a double loop instead of a double knot, which stays securely tied but also unties with one yank.)

Different Habits For Different Results

Learning a better way after doing something the same way for years requires an active effort, but I believe it is worth the extra attention to change my method.

I believe in changing habits to get different results.  Albert Einstein is often credited with saying that the definition of insanity is doing something over and over again and expecting a different result.  A quick internet search calls the accuracy of this citation into question and it’s not that important for this blog post to know who said exactly what.  The concept, though, applies completely to figuring out how to reinvent yourself when you divorce or otherwise rearrange your family situation.

If you are having trouble planning for your financial future or communicating with your ex-spouse, consider changing how you handle yourself, instead of expecting to get better results by doing the same thing over and over.

To get ideas, you might need to go to new sources of information, like an investment advisor, a mental health professional, or a lawyer.  Even a short consultation could help you to come up with new ideas.

Contact Our New Jersey Divorce Lawyers Today

If life after divorce is not as improved as you think it should be, contact us at 201-488-1161 at Lesnevich, Marzano-Lesnevich, Trigg, O’Cathain & O’Cathain, LLC, to talk about new ideas, new actions and new results. Our team of New Jersey divorce lawyers are experienced, skilled, and ready to help you.